by DeAnn Goins
According to an informal survey of 50 people conducted on this campus, there are levels to relationships. There are apparently steps before being able to be called someone’s significant other. Relationships are businesses and in businesses there are titles. In businesses there are CEOS, managers, and simply workers. In relationships there are people you are in a relationship with, people you talk to or your boo’s and then there are people you are simply smashing, or just having sex with.
Imagine you’re in your workplace. You just started working at this particular office a month ago. You work so hard, doing busy work, reporting to someone of higher authority. You long for that higher authority. You long for the day when people will report to you. You long for becoming the CEO, not the manager that you report to and certainly not just the population worker that you are. In the workplace there are levels.
Danielle Smith, a junior business major says that the term or level “talking” is the first step in becoming someone’s girlfriend. “When you and a guy are talking, y’all chill on the regular basis, y’all may have sex, you’re getting to know each other.” Sounds like age old courting to me, right? Wrong!
Courtship usually began with a man trying to woo a woman. He would prove his interest by presenting her with flowers, taking her on dates, and eventually asking her father for permission for exclusive dating that would lead to an engagement and so forth.
With the level of talking, there are no flowers. There are rarely dates. There is no wooing. Twun Bonner, a sophomore criminal justice major says that men prefer boos or someone they just talk to rather than a girlfriend because boos are more understanding. “Boos are reasonable and play their part. She knows that if she plays her part right, she might get promoted,” he says. Promoted? Business, ehh?
Everyone wants to be promoted. No matter the position you’re in, if there is a position higher, you would prefer that one. So do women want to be promoted from boo to girlfriend? But of course. That same informal survey showed that 82 percent of people think that more women than men want to be in exclusive relationships. Titles seem to be stability for women.
So why, on this campus are there more boos than girlfriends? “Guys force us,” said Morgan Walden. “Obviously not physically,” the junior political science major continues, “but mentally. We are mentally forced to become boos and just talk because that’s what they are more comfortable doing. Instead of being lonely and without sex we are strung along hoping to one day become the girlfriend, and sometimes we actually do.” So, there you have it, men are selfish; as if we didn’t already know that.
Destiny Davis-Bell, a freshman business major, says “realistically, most guys on this campus cannot provide half of what’s required to be an actual boyfriend so girls get stuck settling for being a boo and not a girlfriend.”
Obviously there are various qualities one must possess to become a man’s girlfriend. It varies from person to person. Quentin Boswell says, “You have to put in overtime to be my girlfriend.” Overtime: more business jargon. The junior history major would like meals to be cooked sometimes and massages after his long football practices. “I want someone who will take care of me because I know I would take care of them.”
Bonner says, “My girlfriend has to be cute, funny, and respectful. She should be understanding and versatile. She has to be someone I can introduce to my family. And most importantly, a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed.” Speaking of sex…
According to a survey conducted on this campus last year, more men than women prefer casual sex whether than sex with a significant other. However, an examination done by Susan Sprecher, a social psychologist at Illinois State University, found in a study that overall, sexual satisfaction had stronger links with relationship quality for men than for women. So the better the relationship, the better the sex. At SSU, men are more comfortable and actually prefer having sex with a girl that they have no relationship with at all. Whores!
Someone that you’re just having sex with, not “talking” to and obviously not considering them being your girlfriend or boyfriend, does not have a title. Well, we all have a few things we like to call them; they’re just not formal or appropriate. Justin Dixon, a junior criminal justice major says that talking and just smashing have no correlation. I always thought that if two people were talking, it was okay to assume they were having sex. Nope! “Just because you are smashing [having sex] someone doesn’t mean y’all are talking,” Dixon says.
Taffanee Johnson agrees. The junior business major says “When you are just smashing someone, you are just smashing someone. There are no strings attached. The sex is casual and occasional and there is no expectation of a further relationship.” Taffanee is not looking for this type of relationship, FYI.
So what type of relationship do women want? Good ones. Do they want relationships at all? Heck yeah! Do they come to college in hopes of finding a relationship? Hmm..? “There are some studies,” Kenisha Lowe says, “that say fathers boost their daughters to go to college in order to find a significant other.” “People are usually raised to look for love in college if their family is stricter,” the senior political science major elaborates.
Smith seems to think that nobody actually looks for relationships. “Unless they’re on those corny dating sites,” she laughed, “but most relationships just happen. Those ones are the best anyway, because they’re just so natural.”
So ladies, if you want to be a girlfriend, be funny, be understanding, have sex, cook sometimes. Guys, if by a miracle of a chance you want to become a boyfriend, put a title on it… and eventually a ring.