by DeAnn Goins
From little girls, we are groomed to believe that we are to grow up, fall in love, get married, have babies and take care of our family. As ladies, we should cross our legs when we sit, we shouldn’t burp or pass gas in public, and we should always be seen, never heard. As women, we are smart; we should go to college, obtain a degree and in the process, find the most suitable husband for us. Well, that “once upon a time” no longer defines us.
“I don’t want to be held on a pedestal and expected to fulfill girlfriend obligations. Nothing but carefree, spontaneous, fun sex,” says Morgan Walden. Students, particularly females, have tossed aside the thought of finding their spouses in their college years and would prefer to use this time as a time of freedom and fun. The traditional romance scene that college campuses had once been, has now been replaced with what is called the hook-up culture.
Walden, a sophomore Political Science major, says that although she would prefer sex with a significant other rather than just casual sex, there aren’t many males that would prefer the same. Are females being forced to conform into the hook-up culture or casual sex because that’s what their male counterparts prefer?
Casual sex is any form of sexual activity— manual stimulation, sexual intercourse, and/or oral sex, engaged in by two people who are not dating or in a serious relationship and do not expect anything further. Are dating and romance out and casual sex in?
According to a survey conducted, most females, like Walden, would prefer to be in a romantic relationship and engage in sexual activity with a significant other. However, their hopes of finding that significant other have been shattered because of the hook-up culture that has swept the campus.
“Sex is an intimate connection so when you share your body with someone, it’s so special,” says Emerald Haynes, a senior Accounting major. Haynes says she would prefer sex with only a significant other but casual sex would fulfill a need of instant gratification. We are an instant gratification generation.
Keyundra Meadows says she is not ready to be committed. The 21 year-old environmental science major says “different sex partners and sex styles” are both pros to casual sex. Instant pleasure and no emotional attachments or obligations are other pros to casual sex according to females surveyed. But what do women really want? Do they enjoy the hook-up culture, or do they do it because they feel like they have to? Does casual sex ask everything of a female and offer her nothing?
Chemistry major David Oguoma-Richards thinks that no matter how hard females try not to get emotionally attached through sex, she’ll fail. “Chemical reactions between males and females during sex will cause women to catch feelings.”
Oxytocin is a chemical produced in the brain to promote feelings of connection and love. Oxytocin is most commonly associated with breast-feeding. It is the type of strong connection that helps a mother bond with her infant.
Sometimes referred to as the “cuddling hormone” or “hormone of love,” oxytocin is also produced during sex. It causes the partners to form emotional attachments with one another; the more intense the sex, the more the oxytocin. Males get a bigger dose of testosterone which suppresses the oxytocin.
“There is conflict in casual sex,” says Jaze Nelson. “Females are more emotional and what they have [their body] is sacred, versus a males who just visualizes sex as a physical pleasure,” the business management major elaborates.
Surely, all men don’t praise this new hook-up culture. Of the 25 males surveyed, 19 of them would actually prefer sex with a significant other rather than casual sex. Accounting Major Jordan Wright says, “I don’t want to have sex with just anybody; you need to be significant in my life.”
Christopher Eruchalu, a homeland security major agrees. He says “sex with a significant other is safer. Any sex can lead to pregnancy and if that does happen, I’d prefer to go through that with my significant other, not someone I just have sex with occasionally.”
Are women confused in their acceptance to casual sex? According to the survey, most women that don’t mind and/or prefer casual sex only are accepting because that’s what they think men want. However, men are more attracted to the idea of sex with one significant other. And then there are those that don’t prefer sex at all.
Eddie Sanders says, “Sex is more of a spiritual thing than my peers realize.” The 21 year-old English major is a virgin due to his Christian beliefs. He says he doesn’t want to waste that type of experience (deflowering) on someone he doesn’t love.
Obviously, males and females experience sex differently. According to Jayson Sharon, writer for USA Today, casual teen attitudes toward sex reflect their confusion about what is normal behavior. Teens are facing an intimacy crisis that could haunt them in future relationships. When teenagers fool around before they’re ready or have a very casual attitude toward sex, they proceed toward adulthood with a lack of understanding about intimacy.